They were silent at the start of the trip, perhaps waiting for the scenery to change. Because at the moment they were out of the city proper and they started to see more greenery on the side of the road, they were both ready to talk.
I’m really very sorry to hear about Ollie… She said with a sincere voice.
Thank you, it was quite unexpected…
It just feels so inappropriate to visit during this difficult time. She said.
Please, don’t. It’s OK. He would have definitely wanted you to visit. Besides, I apologize that it’s only for one night. We canceled every other booking but yours. That’s all we can do right now. Been a hectic past month.
I can imagine. One night is more than enough. I’m just very sad that I couldn’t meet Ollie…that your father’s gone. Her voice started to quiver and she made an effort to steady it.
I bet he’s more disappointed than you. He has grown fond of you and your emails. He said gently, noticing her eyes starting to water. I haven’t read them don’t worry but I’m sure it’s all about astronomy stuff. Or is it? He teased, attempting to change the mood.
Haha, yes, of course. She answered. Well basically, I’m just bothering him of my eventual visit that never seem to happen. And each passing year, he’s patiently explaining to me when’s the best time of the year to go, what I can see at a particular time. It led to an exchange of astronomy knowledge or more like, a one-way lecture. But no, she said laughing, he was a very good teacher. Very enthusiastic.
Yeah, that’s definitely my dad. I was subjected to that since I was 5. He laughed.
Well, anyway, thank you again. I really appreciate it. She said.
You’re welcome. We’re happy to have you. I mean technically, just me. He smiled at her, trying to make things lighter.
He relaxed his back against his seat, his left hand lightly steering the wheel. She held her hands in her lap playing with her fingers – interlacing them again and again. She leaned slightly forward, her posture a bit stiff. They took glances at each other, as if waiting to see who would speak first.
So where’d you come from and where are you headed after? Gabriel got to it first.
You mean just now? She thought about her journey leading up to this and she was initially compelled to tell her story from the very start. Well, I took a train from Barcelona. Before that, I was in Lleida to spend time with my dad. And tomorrow, I’m heading to Pau and then make my way to Saint Jean-des-pieds. She chose a very straightforward answer.
Ah, you’re dad, is he Spanish or something?
Yeah he is. I’m half-Spanish. He lives here with his family.
He asked if she spoke Spanish.
Un poco. I’ve just started to learn it. You speak it?
Yeah I do. It would be quite helpful if you’re going for the Camino. He said.
Yes, that’s what I thought too.
And you’re doing the whole thing? A month, right? He asked looking sideways at her.
Yes, the Camino Frances and then after, walk all the way up to Fisterria. That’ll be about 40 days.
He thought about something but mentioned something else more urgent in his mind. By the way, I’ll bring you back to the station tomorrow. I’m also leaving around the same time, around 4pm no? if I remember it right. Mine’s at 5:10.
Yeah, 4:20, I think. Thank you.
No problem at all.
Where are you headed, if I may ask? Ida looked at Gabriel’s face for the first time, in the rear view mirror. She noticed he had blue eyes, and with the afternoon light shining on it, she can see a hint of yellow around his iris. Like sunflowers against bright blue skies, she thought.
To Paris, I mean technically to another part of the world, but I’m going to Paris first. He answered.
She waited for him to say more but he did not, instead he asked her another question. So what are you looking for ? Out there in the Camino?
She’s getting used to his questions by now. I guess, look for answers, like most other pilgrims who walk it. Just walking and hoping that out of all of that walking, I’ll realize something.
Like what?
Like what I’m going to do after all the walking. She said with a sheepish smile.
Haha, seriously, I’m curious. If you don’t mind the intrusion. He also looked at her eyes through the rear view mirror. He noticed they’re shaped like little comets.
I though you already got that part earlier from the painting? She quipped.
Apparently, it has it’s limits. He chided back.
Uhm, so my mom died last June and that led to another big crisis. Let’s just say, my life is shaky right now. I’m looking for a path that feels right. Plus, I wanted to visit my dad…so walking the Camino made sense because it’s just right there. So yeah, that’s the gist of it…
Ah merde, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. I didn’t mean to touch on something still very raw. Really sorry. He said. Also for my cursing.
It’s okay… she said, steadying her voice again. She looked outside the window.
Well, it does seem fitting, finding your path by walking a trail…
That’s the plan anyway. And if I still don’t find answers, I’ll still have the Anapurna trek. I’m doing that after.
The one in Nepal, right? I’ve heard about that. I’ve always wanted to do that myself but I never find the time. So you’re planning to travel for some time?
Yeah, roughly 6 months. She said curtly and quickly took this moment to turn the questions back on him. How about you? You said you’re going to another part of the world?
Yeah, I’m going to Ukraine. I’m working as a mechanical engineer for IOM. We’re helping rebuild infrastructure there.
That sounds so cool. I mean about you, working for them. How bad is it out there?
I don’t know yet, I have to be on the ground but from our briefing, there’s a lot to rebuild. They have to start rebuilding even the war is still ongoing because they don’t know when it’s going to end.
That’s just terrible. I can’t imagine my country being forcefully occupied by another. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it. I’m just happy to know at least organizations like IOM are there to help.
I’m surprised you know about them.
Oh, I’ve recently read up about their work, because they’ve also just been in the Philippines last year, you know because of typhoon Haiyan.
I actually just came back from there. He said, letting out a small amused laugh.
No, really?
Yeah, I was there last April. it was so devastating to see but that experience made me gain great respect of Filipino people, your people. I saw great resilience. Also there’s this remarkable spirit of brotherhood you don’t see anywhere. It’s really something special.
Yeah, definitely we are very resilient people. I think it’s more of a muscle we have built through time. I think it has something to do with being constantly subjected to natural disasters and if you want to go deeper, our colonial past.
I also admired how positive the people were in the face of disaster. Amidst all that, you can still see people genuinely smiling and laughing, especially the children.
Definitely, we smile a lot. She gave him a big smile then, without noticing. We are hopeful people in the midst of uncertainty, that’s for sure. She paused then asked. How long were you there?
It was a 6 month mission, I helped coordinate and plan the builds. Then I came back for the summer to be with my dad.
I really admire what you do. How long have you been doing it?
Well, thanks. I’ve been on it almost 6 years and I feel I’ll continue doing that for as long as I can. There’s so much work to be done…
I know what you mean. She looked out again to the window on her side. She noticed different kinds of trees than the ones she saw earlier.
So what do you do? Gabriel asked.
Oh, definitely not saving the world, like you. She answered. I am, um, was, a financial writer in Singapore. I researched and wrote articles for an investment advice firm there. I don’t miss it.
You quit?
Um yeah, let’s just say I quit everything.
I wouldn’t guess that about you, I mean that you’re working in finance. No offense. He said glancing at her reaction.
Don’t worry, none taken. Actually before that, I was a researcher and grant writer for a marine conservation NGO in Palawan, where I’m from, by the way.
That’s what I would have guessed. I mean, what you do. What made you switch jobs, if it’s not too personal?
So that’s when the story of my mom comes. She got sick, a debilitating liver disease, and I needed to pay for her treatment. So I had to quickly find a job that paid well. I was earning, I think around 200 euros a month, with the NGO. I was happy with that. Life was simple. But that was not possible with her diagnosis.
You didn’t have insurance?
We have some kind of aid from the government, but very little from what you have in France or Spain. I needed to find a way to earn money fast in case her condition got worse, which eventually did. Luckily, I have a close friend from college who’s working at this firm based in Singapore and she personally recommended me. Well, I had to write many sample articles and did a personal interview in Singapore with the boss who’s also the owner. He hired me on the spot.
A lucky break!
It was still a startup so they’re not so picky at that time. And the boss was nice, he’s an English expat. Especially when he heard about my troubles. So just like that, I moved from Palawan to Singapore.
Still an island but a very different one, I imagine. He commented. It must have took a great amount of flexibility to switch to something else.
I had to. But it’s very common actually. A lot of Filipinos do that, they work different jobs abroad that what they studied for. A teacher working us a domestic worker, a doctor as a nurse, you name it. We do what we have to do. For our families.
I find that admirable. He said. So now, you’re looking for something else?
Yes, some kind of job or vocation like yours. That makes a difference in the world! She said in a hopeful tone.
Well, I think doing what makes you truly happy is what makes a difference in the world.
Maybe, but that’s the bigger problem. I don’t know what makes me genuinely happy. Did you always know that this is what you wanted to do? She asked.
I guess so. My mom’s a doctor and she worked for Doctors without borders. She’s retired now. But she’s the one that inspired me to follow this path very early on. He thought then about the times his mom came back from a mission, a little bit dazed and disassociated but somehow she adjusts back and ready to go again.
That’s great, that you’ve already found your vocation. And there’s nothing else you want to do?
Well, I wanted to run the observatory, one day, with my dad. When I retire. But that has changed now…
Ida just nodded. Neither of them spoke for a while. Ida slouched back at her seat, slightly facing Gabriel, her right arm on the side of the window. Gabriel leaned forward, resting his arms on the wheel.
A ring from his phone broke their silence.
Sorry I have to get this, it’s my sister. They talked in French and Ida found herself catching some words. She didn’t mean to, but the voice on the other end of the call was loud in the silent car. She knew some Spanish so she recognized French words that sounded similar. Comete Fille. Pourquoi? Her voice sounded a bit distressed.
He hung up. Sorry, it was about the house. She’s actually coming tomorrow night to finish up. She took a week’s leave to make sure everything’s neat and settled because I have to urgently go now. I was supposed to leave last month for Ukraine. He explained.
That’s nice of her. Is she asking why I am going there? I understood some words. Ida asked gently.
Ah, you heard that. Don’t worry about it. She has bit of childish animosity against you because dad talks a lot about you. She’s a bit jealous.
But why?
Because she’s not a stargazer. She doesn’t share that with dad. And you did.
I see, but Ollie and I, we just share that one thing…once in a while. She said, her voice baffled.
Don’t worry, it’s just all a front. She’s still struggling with his death and she’s finding ways to deal with it. Today, it just happens to be you.
I think I understand. Ida said, thinking about Ollie and how just like his sister, Gabriel must still be devastated by his passing. Just like her with her mom’s. She looked at him again in the rear view mirror, the only place she has the courage to look at his face. She observed that he has this very serious look when he’s not smiling and she had this urge to make him smile again. She just didn’t know how.
Do you also know how to use the telescopes? Ida asked the first random question in her mind.
But of course. He answered. It’s really cool to look into the deep sky but personally, I prefer looking out with my bare eyes. It’s very dark where we are, it’s beautiful to just lie on the ground and stare at the sky. You’ll see soon enough.
I can’t wait, she said starting to feel excited. It’s been a long time coming. Do you mind? She gestured to open the window on her side.
Not at all, go ahead.
It’s one of my favorite things in the world…she said as stuck her head out and felt the breeze on her face.
He found himself staring at her, her hair wildly flowing, some of which got stuck in her mouth but she didn’t mind. Her eyes were closed so she did not see him smiling as he looked back at the road in front of them.
Their path started to wind up. Silhouettes of mountains appeared in front of them. They’re almost there.